Our refrigerator finally departs. It was 26! It was a garish muroon or I think magenta. It was a shade I cannot name.It got that color because our kitchen has pink tiles and mom thought the contrast was good. Mom thinking about colors and how they will compliment each other was surprising enough. In my family, homes were only required to be warm, welcoming happy places. Colors and interiors werent thought as adding to the appeal of a house. The fridge ( I am now regretting not having a name for it ) was less than 5 feet high. It is the only one my house has seen and I saw until I moved out. We had it when I could barely walk. It was there when I started school. Mom would place our tiffins on it and I couldn't reach up to collect mine. Top of the fridge was a mysterious place on which a lot of things lay. It was mysterious by virtue of being inaccessible. We had it when I grew as tall as it. We had it till I could finally stand, my elbow resting on its top, chatting up with mom. We had it till I didnt have to peer upwards once I opened it. I had to bend down to peek! We had it for a quarter century and little more.During exams, last minute cramming would happen with me resting my back against it. Morning tea before I left for college each day would happen there as well. If it wasn't mom, it was the fridge we turned to for food. It always had something. It was well-behaved. I mentally go over all the "things" in my house. My house is the " HOUSE family head" and the fridge was one of the family members. It was 26. The sofas are 22 years old. The living room "showcase" is 23 years old. The black table is 26 years or more! The tiny stool is 27 years old. The kitchen cabinet is 20! The washing machine is 20 years old too! This house aint no home without them members.Me and my blog pay homage to my fridge that went without a name. I have busied myself naming the others.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
An ABSolvEr
Another one about mom and me! This blog should be aptly called Anchored To the Sun, a little about me, my mother and my sin city! Except that the three cannot co-exist.
I do not remember how old I was. I definitely wasn't ten. Maybe 8 ish. It was Diwali time. Mom handed me a vati (= bowl) of geroo, the tangerine colored clay spread on the floor so that Rangoli patterns stand out. It was my opportunity! I was asked to spread the clay evenly outside our door. I was going to be preparing the base on which mom would make Rangoli patterns passersby stopped and complimented her on! As I walked towards the door, the vati slipped out of my hands its contents splattering on the floor. Dark, tangerine colored blobs! I do not know why I panicked. Why I thought what had happened was irreversible! Why I felt a strong urge to wipe all traces of the clumsy accident before mom could find out! Those were the days when my lower lip stuck out, chin quivered and I wanted to disappear for something as small as dropping a glass of water!! It was not mom. I catastrophized it. Like I was at that moment. What happened after that was unforgivable. I wiped the self-created mess with a "thing" I thought no one cared for, no one would miss and no one needed! I had always seen it in the cupboard, old, untouched and apparently useless. It was a Batwa. It cleaned the mess alright! It didn't stay hidden. Mom found out. In a quiet and calm voice, she explained to an 8-ish year old her loss! That Batwa was handmade. By her. When she was a little girl. Way before I arrived. When she was but just a girl and not "mother". Before dad, before marriage, when she was unknown to all of us! Not a part of this family. Not someone we know now. She held it for me to see. Little Miss Muffet and her spider embroidered in red, green and I forget the third color. Didn't matter. It was all tangerine now. She kept it for 22 years and an 8-ish year old ruined it within seconds. My mom must have lost some more of herself that day! Another precious bit from days that belonged only to her ruined by someone from her "now" who didnt know her for nuts. Maybe still doesn't. That improper, less boring,more interesting, idiosyncratic, un mom like person! Very unfair that I got to know her only after she became a mother. And to boot, I snatched a very precious part of her.
I still wonder what irked her, what ticked her, what overjoyed her, what saddened her, what she thought, how she lived long before anyone of us happened to her!
Each time I chance upon a prized possession from my school days which I have kept with utmost care I anticipate a future presence in my life ruining it...innocently but surely! I know I will not mind it. Maybe my mom didn't too. Maybe that's what being a mother means! To find oneself always! Doggedly.
I would want my kids to know who their "proper", "by default a tad boring because she is making the rules" mother really was!
I do not remember how old I was. I definitely wasn't ten. Maybe 8 ish. It was Diwali time. Mom handed me a vati (= bowl) of geroo, the tangerine colored clay spread on the floor so that Rangoli patterns stand out. It was my opportunity! I was asked to spread the clay evenly outside our door. I was going to be preparing the base on which mom would make Rangoli patterns passersby stopped and complimented her on! As I walked towards the door, the vati slipped out of my hands its contents splattering on the floor. Dark, tangerine colored blobs! I do not know why I panicked. Why I thought what had happened was irreversible! Why I felt a strong urge to wipe all traces of the clumsy accident before mom could find out! Those were the days when my lower lip stuck out, chin quivered and I wanted to disappear for something as small as dropping a glass of water!! It was not mom. I catastrophized it. Like I was at that moment. What happened after that was unforgivable. I wiped the self-created mess with a "thing" I thought no one cared for, no one would miss and no one needed! I had always seen it in the cupboard, old, untouched and apparently useless. It was a Batwa. It cleaned the mess alright! It didn't stay hidden. Mom found out. In a quiet and calm voice, she explained to an 8-ish year old her loss! That Batwa was handmade. By her. When she was a little girl. Way before I arrived. When she was but just a girl and not "mother". Before dad, before marriage, when she was unknown to all of us! Not a part of this family. Not someone we know now. She held it for me to see. Little Miss Muffet and her spider embroidered in red, green and I forget the third color. Didn't matter. It was all tangerine now. She kept it for 22 years and an 8-ish year old ruined it within seconds. My mom must have lost some more of herself that day! Another precious bit from days that belonged only to her ruined by someone from her "now" who didnt know her for nuts. Maybe still doesn't. That improper, less boring,more interesting, idiosyncratic, un mom like person! Very unfair that I got to know her only after she became a mother. And to boot, I snatched a very precious part of her.
I still wonder what irked her, what ticked her, what overjoyed her, what saddened her, what she thought, how she lived long before anyone of us happened to her!
Each time I chance upon a prized possession from my school days which I have kept with utmost care I anticipate a future presence in my life ruining it...innocently but surely! I know I will not mind it. Maybe my mom didn't too. Maybe that's what being a mother means! To find oneself always! Doggedly.
I would want my kids to know who their "proper", "by default a tad boring because she is making the rules" mother really was!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
In My BAlcOny's ShoEs
Wooden shoes hardly seem like a great idea for one's feet. A few thousand people in and around Holland continue to wear them regularly. These are people who work in swampy grounds and in farms. Needless to say, these shoes offer protection. I can picture myself wearing wooden shoes, trudging through swampy farms and I wonder how much strength it would take for me to pull my foot out of the mud, LIFT IT up, not leaving the wooden shoe stuck in the swamp and take the next step forward. I think I can imagine what this guy from STOMP featured in the brand ID film for Dolby
( played before many movies in most theatres ), walking on painted black drums must feel. Now, THAT is a guy who would want to be in someone else's shoes!
While in Amsterdam, a bright idea struck! Today the idea stands "acted on", has seen the light of day and makes us immensely proud! We paid a a bomb buying 4 large-sized wooden shoes from a shoe factory. With no heed to how they might be packed in suitcases bursting at the seams and the weight they shall add to our baggage! I am glad we didnt think much.
This is what we have done with the shoes.....They are now in my balcony....and it is the prettiest change in our house this Diwali!
As of today morning, each of them plants in each of those shoes has pink, yellow, white and orange blossoms. It was the FIRST time I wished someone (HAS to be a kind soul, or someone who CANT say NO ) was going to Amsterdam and I could ask for 4 more shoes! I am on the lookout.
This Diwali, my Balcony found its shoes :)
( played before many movies in most theatres ), walking on painted black drums must feel. Now, THAT is a guy who would want to be in someone else's shoes!
While in Amsterdam, a bright idea struck! Today the idea stands "acted on", has seen the light of day and makes us immensely proud! We paid a a bomb buying 4 large-sized wooden shoes from a shoe factory. With no heed to how they might be packed in suitcases bursting at the seams and the weight they shall add to our baggage! I am glad we didnt think much.
This is what we have done with the shoes.....They are now in my balcony....and it is the prettiest change in our house this Diwali!
As of today morning, each of them plants in each of those shoes has pink, yellow, white and orange blossoms. It was the FIRST time I wished someone (HAS to be a kind soul, or someone who CANT say NO ) was going to Amsterdam and I could ask for 4 more shoes! I am on the lookout.
This Diwali, my Balcony found its shoes :)
Sunday, October 5, 2008
RaInBOw
There was no sun in the sky, setting or otherwise on the 4th. The day started on a cloudy note and ended with an unexpected shower. Smug after the day's succesful completion of my supervision duties at college ( it being my first ever, I felt I was taking an exam. There are zillion things for a supervisor to do that require tremendous concentration and offer no place for errors. I had sweaty palms and I am sure the other 15 year olds in the room did too. What do they know about mine? :-), my rising sun and I headed to Thane to see Aai. That is precisely when it rained. And I saw my FIRST rainbow of this monsoon...Words fail me and hence this picture I managed to click from the car comes to my aid. This is what it looked like.
In this picture it resembles a shaft of light from a torch.......rainbow colored light emanating from a heavenly torch.
I rememberd a story I had read in my English texts when I was 7. It is firlmy etched, every word alongwith the pictorial depiction. A weeping sky looking towards the Earth, the two connected with a rainbow. I looked at U and said do you the know the sky is weeping? U listens, I think, because he doesn't say a word. Or maybe he just concentrates on the traffic happy that I entertain myself. It is missing its Earth. They were much in love and wanted to get married. But people on Earth felt they would have nowhere to go if the Earth and the Sky got married. Hence they schemed and plotted and the union of Earth and Sky was prevented. Each time we see a rainbow in the sky, it is the garland the Sky hurls towards the Earth. The garland he could not adorn his Earth with.
I have never stopped feeling guilty for being one of the "Earthlings"!
In this picture it resembles a shaft of light from a torch.......rainbow colored light emanating from a heavenly torch.
I rememberd a story I had read in my English texts when I was 7. It is firlmy etched, every word alongwith the pictorial depiction. A weeping sky looking towards the Earth, the two connected with a rainbow. I looked at U and said do you the know the sky is weeping? U listens, I think, because he doesn't say a word. Or maybe he just concentrates on the traffic happy that I entertain myself. It is missing its Earth. They were much in love and wanted to get married. But people on Earth felt they would have nowhere to go if the Earth and the Sky got married. Hence they schemed and plotted and the union of Earth and Sky was prevented. Each time we see a rainbow in the sky, it is the garland the Sky hurls towards the Earth. The garland he could not adorn his Earth with.
I have never stopped feeling guilty for being one of the "Earthlings"!
Monday, July 21, 2008
CRowFeLLOw
Visited Thane after lectures on Thursday. Walked it up from class to Mulund station. Got into a running train...those things pick up speed mighty fast! Note made to self: Do not repeat behavior. Shall not be! Walked from Thane station to home. Discovered that a very old and frequently taken lane from station to home no longer existed! They have demolished the buildings lining it, filling up the lane with rubble. So no lane. I walked to it, wondering where it had disappeared looking for familiar buildings and landmarks until I realized the buildings were gone and so had the lane. A helpful soul enquired "kidhar jaana hai?" to add to the feeling of "I have been out of touch with Thane". Pch! Kidhar jaana hai my foot...in a place where I lived for 24 years! Grrr...
Visit to Thane serves a lot of points. Discovering lost lanes or lanes that are now lost amidst other things. That day the point was LUNCH! Aai rolled out hot chapatis while i sat on the floor my back rested against the refrigerator. The only one we have had, the only one that the house has seen. It has been 27 years :) Point of being in Thane was lunch and that day's lunch has given this post a point! As aai started with her second chapati, the crow came. For how many years do we have him visiting us now? She takes a while to think, gives up rolling rotis, turns to face me, head tilted to one side, squinting, wiping the beads of sweat with the back of one hand while holding the latna (belan) in one and says.... 5! Now that is a very long time i say to myself. This crow has been a part of my mother's life for 5 years now. I was wondering how long they lived these crows and how many more years will he visit us. The first time he came, aai says, It was raining and I could see he was wet and cold. I gave him a few soggy Marie biscuits which he ate happily. Since then his visits started! He comes everyday, somewhere in the afternoon, yes, around this time. Having said that aai looks at my empty plate and gets back to rolling rotis. Aai isnt always in the kitchen. Sometimes napping in the bedroom or watching television in the living. The dear crow would create a ruccous calling out to her through the kitchen window. He gradually learnt to go near the balcony if she was in the living or the bedroom window if she was napping. He demanded food! Woken up by his constant cawing / crowing one day, mom looked for Marie biscuits and couldn't find any. There were bourbons though. She opened a fresh pack and gave him two! THAT was the day the crow stopped eating Marie. He gave his opinion on which was the better biscuit. He would ONLY touch Bourbons after that day. No amount of Maries would stop the crowing / cawing. Only Bourbons would! Our household stopped seeing an inflow of Maries and Bourbons could be found anytime...all the time. Soggy Bourbons were not frowned upon anymore! They had an unfailing demand.
That day, mom was rolling out rotis, i waited for more and so did he! He only wants garam garam rotis nowadays this fellow. So Jamna, this one i have rolled out is for him! You get the one after this ok? What is next aai, garam rotis with ghee for the cawing / crowing glutton? Elaborate Thali spread? I couldnt help smiling...aai and her ways :) Her occassional glances at the window at lunch time, her rolling out of that extra chapati...for whenever the fellow comes...her references to him! Dad being a willing helper....Aye, here he is the crow. Come fast and give him the chapati! Dad does not bother himself with serving the crow, he is most likely to frighten it away for life. Mom has even asked him to inform her in hushed tones and not yell in his stentorian voice!
Mangal, the maid ( with us now for 17 years ) says its the soul of a departed beloved. Mom rolls rotis, Mangal keeps a pela of water!
I LOVE Thane house and the way life goes on there, everyday.
Visit to Thane serves a lot of points. Discovering lost lanes or lanes that are now lost amidst other things. That day the point was LUNCH! Aai rolled out hot chapatis while i sat on the floor my back rested against the refrigerator. The only one we have had, the only one that the house has seen. It has been 27 years :) Point of being in Thane was lunch and that day's lunch has given this post a point! As aai started with her second chapati, the crow came. For how many years do we have him visiting us now? She takes a while to think, gives up rolling rotis, turns to face me, head tilted to one side, squinting, wiping the beads of sweat with the back of one hand while holding the latna (belan) in one and says.... 5! Now that is a very long time i say to myself. This crow has been a part of my mother's life for 5 years now. I was wondering how long they lived these crows and how many more years will he visit us. The first time he came, aai says, It was raining and I could see he was wet and cold. I gave him a few soggy Marie biscuits which he ate happily. Since then his visits started! He comes everyday, somewhere in the afternoon, yes, around this time. Having said that aai looks at my empty plate and gets back to rolling rotis. Aai isnt always in the kitchen. Sometimes napping in the bedroom or watching television in the living. The dear crow would create a ruccous calling out to her through the kitchen window. He gradually learnt to go near the balcony if she was in the living or the bedroom window if she was napping. He demanded food! Woken up by his constant cawing / crowing one day, mom looked for Marie biscuits and couldn't find any. There were bourbons though. She opened a fresh pack and gave him two! THAT was the day the crow stopped eating Marie. He gave his opinion on which was the better biscuit. He would ONLY touch Bourbons after that day. No amount of Maries would stop the crowing / cawing. Only Bourbons would! Our household stopped seeing an inflow of Maries and Bourbons could be found anytime...all the time. Soggy Bourbons were not frowned upon anymore! They had an unfailing demand.
That day, mom was rolling out rotis, i waited for more and so did he! He only wants garam garam rotis nowadays this fellow. So Jamna, this one i have rolled out is for him! You get the one after this ok? What is next aai, garam rotis with ghee for the cawing / crowing glutton? Elaborate Thali spread? I couldnt help smiling...aai and her ways :) Her occassional glances at the window at lunch time, her rolling out of that extra chapati...for whenever the fellow comes...her references to him! Dad being a willing helper....Aye, here he is the crow. Come fast and give him the chapati! Dad does not bother himself with serving the crow, he is most likely to frighten it away for life. Mom has even asked him to inform her in hushed tones and not yell in his stentorian voice!
Mangal, the maid ( with us now for 17 years ) says its the soul of a departed beloved. Mom rolls rotis, Mangal keeps a pela of water!
I LOVE Thane house and the way life goes on there, everyday.
Friday, June 20, 2008
भय इथले संपत नाही
AMAR, THANK YOU for the song (in bold ofcourse). For reminding me that it I loved it once, many years ago and for mailing it across! We often underestimate the power of a melody :) I had forgotten the effect this one had on me...I re-discovered it today :) And thank you for understanding the intricacies of its words...and helping me enjoy the song MORE, much MORE!
भय इथले संपत नाही
मज तुझी आठवण येते
मी संध्याकाळई गाते
मज तुझी आठवण येते
मी संध्याकाळई गाते
तू माला शिकवलेली गीते
I long for you and fear that my wait may not be ending anytime soon. I remember you in small things...your words, melodies! I sing your songs...as i long for you...and as i fear I will have to wait...long! Really long!
ते झरे चंद्र सजणआनचे
ती धरती भगवी माया
झाडानशी निजलो आपण
झाडात पुन्हा उगवाया
I yearn for you. In my yearning I imagine us in a place that is pure, free of obstacles. Pure and clear as a moonlit night. Pure like your love for me. We shall lie near clear melodious flowing streams which will remind me of your love. Lying on the warm earth, we will be embraced by verdant trees. In that embrace you and I shall fall asleep in much peace, only to open my eyes to find myself still held, still loved, still embraced! I will go through with you till the end, to die here and to be reborn again, like these trees that surround us. That is all i care about. I want to die, because i know i will be reborn here, embraced!
तो बोल मंद हळवासा
आयुष्य स्पर्शुनी गेला
सीतेच्या वनवासातील
जणऊ अंगी राघव शेला
Your words and songs and melodies echo in me. A word can change a life's course and i have so many of yours. My life is full of your words, songs and melodies. Your words have given me light, love and warmth. I remember Seeta, in exile, covering herself with the warmth of Rama's thoughts! I cover myself during cold nights with yours my love!
स्तोत्रात इन्द्रीये अवघी
गुण गुणती दुक्ख कोणाचे
हे सरता संपत नाही
चाँदणे तुझ्या समरणआचे
I yearn for you with all of me, and all i have. My yearning and memories of you, refuse to die like this endless moonlit night.
भय इथले संपत नाही ......
I long for you and fear that my wait may not be ending anytime soon. I remember you in small things...your words, melodies! I sing your songs...as i long for you...and as i fear I will have to wait...long! Really long!
ते झरे चंद्र सजणआनचे
ती धरती भगवी माया
झाडानशी निजलो आपण
झाडात पुन्हा उगवाया
I yearn for you. In my yearning I imagine us in a place that is pure, free of obstacles. Pure and clear as a moonlit night. Pure like your love for me. We shall lie near clear melodious flowing streams which will remind me of your love. Lying on the warm earth, we will be embraced by verdant trees. In that embrace you and I shall fall asleep in much peace, only to open my eyes to find myself still held, still loved, still embraced! I will go through with you till the end, to die here and to be reborn again, like these trees that surround us. That is all i care about. I want to die, because i know i will be reborn here, embraced!
तो बोल मंद हळवासा
आयुष्य स्पर्शुनी गेला
सीतेच्या वनवासातील
जणऊ अंगी राघव शेला
Your words and songs and melodies echo in me. A word can change a life's course and i have so many of yours. My life is full of your words, songs and melodies. Your words have given me light, love and warmth. I remember Seeta, in exile, covering herself with the warmth of Rama's thoughts! I cover myself during cold nights with yours my love!
स्तोत्रात इन्द्रीये अवघी
गुण गुणती दुक्ख कोणाचे
हे सरता संपत नाही
चाँदणे तुझ्या समरणआचे
I yearn for you with all of me, and all i have. My yearning and memories of you, refuse to die like this endless moonlit night.
भय इथले संपत नाही ......
कवी ग्रेस
Monday, June 16, 2008
जड्तो तो जीव
That which clings is the heart
लागते ती आस
What sets in is yearning
बुडतो तो सूर्य
That which sets is the sun.
उरे तो आभास
What is left behind is an illusion
कळए तोच अर्थ
What we grasp is meaning
उरे तोच रंग
What is left is color
ढळ तो तो अश्रू
That which trickles down is the tear
सुटतो तो संग
What slip away are relationships
दाटते ती माया
What surrounds is love
सरे तोच काळ
That which passes is time
ज्याला नाही ठाव
That which is limitless
ते तर आभाळ
Is the sky!
घन नीळआ ड़ोह
पोटी गूढ़ माया
आभाळ माया
आभाळ माया
LOVE is mysterious and limitless like the deep blue sky.
http://marathigani.podbean.com/2008/01/03/abhalmaya/
That which clings is the heart
लागते ती आस
What sets in is yearning
बुडतो तो सूर्य
That which sets is the sun.
उरे तो आभास
What is left behind is an illusion
कळए तोच अर्थ
What we grasp is meaning
उरे तोच रंग
What is left is color
ढळ तो तो अश्रू
That which trickles down is the tear
सुटतो तो संग
What slip away are relationships
दाटते ती माया
What surrounds is love
सरे तोच काळ
That which passes is time
ज्याला नाही ठाव
That which is limitless
ते तर आभाळ
Is the sky!
घन नीळआ ड़ोह
पोटी गूढ़ माया
आभाळ माया
आभाळ माया
LOVE is mysterious and limitless like the deep blue sky.
http://marathigani.podbean.com/2008/01/03/abhalmaya/
*Words of a titletrack. Serial "AbhalMaya"...one of the BEST known serials on ZEE Marathi with the most popular title track ever. Year 1998.
Lyrics: MAngesh Kulkarni who says he wrote these words on a bus ticket while traveling because they came him when he had no paper on him.
Singer: Devki Pandit
The English translation does NO justice to the marathi words! But its a lame attempt to make sure the meaning comes across. Hope i havent ruined it!
जमुना
Lyrics: MAngesh Kulkarni who says he wrote these words on a bus ticket while traveling because they came him when he had no paper on him.
Singer: Devki Pandit
The English translation does NO justice to the marathi words! But its a lame attempt to make sure the meaning comes across. Hope i havent ruined it!
जमुना
Friday, June 6, 2008
MonSOon FirSTs
Yesterday was first. I started walking from School squinting against the windblown dust. The rain poured without a drizzle. Skipped the drizzle and jumped to the pour. It was sudden. And welcome. I saw no rickshaw and knew it was going to be "my rainy evening" :) I stood where I was. Not the types to look for a shelter to run to. No matter what the stakes! Leather bag! Ipod! Silk kurta! Dainty chappals. Irrespective! So there I was yesterday evening, satisfactorily drenched by the time I found a rick. That one had no leather covers to draw. Perfect! Its nice to not have options to shelter oneself from the rain!!! Rick driver said he was waiting for monsoons to arrive to get those curtains fixed. They have! They have? When does one decide they have "ARRIVED"?
Yesterday was first. Rickshaw broke down on Mulund flyover. I was slightly less exhilirated by then and more cold. Alone. But not the types to be sitting in the rickshaw. Stood on the flyover, looking at the salt pans stretching to my right...or looking at what I KNEW were salt pans. It was difficult to tell. Nothing else worried me but the passing trucks (and yeah of course the lightening! Haven't dealt with my fear of those yet.) I was sure the next one would entirely miss the sight of me standing on that flyover...the next truck, or lightening! Both kill! Paranoid, but still standing.
Yesterday was first. The sight of clothes, meant to be drying, strewn across the balcony, but hopefully not off it! And they were wet. Many such evenings loom, on the horizon, of stubborn wet clothes; waiting, like the black clouds on the horizon, like raging bulls, to advance.Pch. Not liking analogy but think Its apt. Paranoia!
Today was first. First morning of misjudged timings. No sun. No shine. No idea what time. Woke up to an inhibiting day. Today was one morning I could have DONE with some sunshine.
Today was FIRST alarmed reaction at watching the rain advancing towards home.
Today is First. Post. I am sitting in the tv room, rain drops splattering on the grill and falling on my laptop. But who is the types to shut THIS window, when its the First?...post and monsoon morning of this monsoon?
Remembering first days at school, trains halting on flooded tracks enroute Xavier's,
still Bottled Mottled,
Missing some monsoon people.
could have done with some sunshine,
clutching to comfort zone,
unsure of liking monsoons as of today morning,
worried about next 3 months already,
realizing summers are gone!
Wanting to speed up today and jump to tommorow,
Wishing only and only for Bandstand...
J
Listening to: Chhotisi Kahani se, Baarishon ke paani se
Mood: Warming up to cold monsoon morning...or so i think!
Yesterday was first. Rickshaw broke down on Mulund flyover. I was slightly less exhilirated by then and more cold. Alone. But not the types to be sitting in the rickshaw. Stood on the flyover, looking at the salt pans stretching to my right...or looking at what I KNEW were salt pans. It was difficult to tell. Nothing else worried me but the passing trucks (and yeah of course the lightening! Haven't dealt with my fear of those yet.) I was sure the next one would entirely miss the sight of me standing on that flyover...the next truck, or lightening! Both kill! Paranoid, but still standing.
Yesterday was first. The sight of clothes, meant to be drying, strewn across the balcony, but hopefully not off it! And they were wet. Many such evenings loom, on the horizon, of stubborn wet clothes; waiting, like the black clouds on the horizon, like raging bulls, to advance.Pch. Not liking analogy but think Its apt. Paranoia!
Today was first. First morning of misjudged timings. No sun. No shine. No idea what time. Woke up to an inhibiting day. Today was one morning I could have DONE with some sunshine.
Today was FIRST alarmed reaction at watching the rain advancing towards home.
Today is First. Post. I am sitting in the tv room, rain drops splattering on the grill and falling on my laptop. But who is the types to shut THIS window, when its the First?...post and monsoon morning of this monsoon?
Remembering first days at school, trains halting on flooded tracks enroute Xavier's,
still Bottled Mottled,
Missing some monsoon people.
could have done with some sunshine,
clutching to comfort zone,
unsure of liking monsoons as of today morning,
worried about next 3 months already,
realizing summers are gone!
Wanting to speed up today and jump to tommorow,
Wishing only and only for Bandstand...
J
Listening to: Chhotisi Kahani se, Baarishon ke paani se
Mood: Warming up to cold monsoon morning...or so i think!
Sunday, May 11, 2008
ThEre and THen!
Somewhere there!
Then... at that time...
You got left behind.
I never really got used to you.
I now think you always knew.
Papaa...thanks for capturing.
How many people have photographs they can put a finger on and say "That is Where....precisely There....precisely Then...There is where I left my phone behind".
Friday, April 11, 2008
Aarey Road was autumn like.
It had Fall Foliage!
There are trees of a kind that grow along the road, the kind that grow without much tending or care (These trees and stray dogs could almost belong to the same category. Trees that grow by themselves and strays that grow up well without Pedigree or shots) They come into flower with very pretty and delicately small yellow blossoms this time of the year. These trees are innumerable considering they dot the entire 6 to7 Km stretch!
They make Aarey Road look less verdant and more golden. Looking up, one can see trees from either side joining in a canopy of sorts overhead, yellow blossoms mixing into one another. Sunshine streaming in through that foliage is truly yellow. The road reminds me of a room, protected from the harsh and glaring sunlight by thick yellow curtains! There was this kind of a muted yellow glow on Aarey Road today.
It was raining yellow blossoms throughout. Every gust of wind, weakest to the otherwise was followed by a sprinkling of flowers from atop. They fall on the grey concrete and get windblown back to the edge of the road, to settle at the foot of the trees from which they fell.
Along the road, at each side, were heaps and heaps of these wild yellow blossoms. It felt carpet like, and I could picture my feet sinking into them if I were to decide to walk. Aarey Road was not earthy red on either side of the grey concrete. It was a mixture of fresh yellow and dried yellow. There were no signs of a hard ground, only soft, generous heaps of blossoms cushioning the earth.
And there was the ever rising sun with his shine! Nowadays it’s time for it to shine self-importantly.
JLT:
What if Blogspot writes one day and says we are shutting shop. Your writings and your posts are not retrievable!! What if?
It had Fall Foliage!
There are trees of a kind that grow along the road, the kind that grow without much tending or care (These trees and stray dogs could almost belong to the same category. Trees that grow by themselves and strays that grow up well without Pedigree or shots) They come into flower with very pretty and delicately small yellow blossoms this time of the year. These trees are innumerable considering they dot the entire 6 to7 Km stretch!
They make Aarey Road look less verdant and more golden. Looking up, one can see trees from either side joining in a canopy of sorts overhead, yellow blossoms mixing into one another. Sunshine streaming in through that foliage is truly yellow. The road reminds me of a room, protected from the harsh and glaring sunlight by thick yellow curtains! There was this kind of a muted yellow glow on Aarey Road today.
It was raining yellow blossoms throughout. Every gust of wind, weakest to the otherwise was followed by a sprinkling of flowers from atop. They fall on the grey concrete and get windblown back to the edge of the road, to settle at the foot of the trees from which they fell.
Along the road, at each side, were heaps and heaps of these wild yellow blossoms. It felt carpet like, and I could picture my feet sinking into them if I were to decide to walk. Aarey Road was not earthy red on either side of the grey concrete. It was a mixture of fresh yellow and dried yellow. There were no signs of a hard ground, only soft, generous heaps of blossoms cushioning the earth.
And there was the ever rising sun with his shine! Nowadays it’s time for it to shine self-importantly.
JLT:
What if Blogspot writes one day and says we are shutting shop. Your writings and your posts are not retrievable!! What if?
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Look ....Vanity!
My first. Dated: 7 / 10 / 87
Clown. Duh!
The steps leading up to the house look more like they are bringing the house down!
I shed tears when one of its legs got smudged! I cried like it was the end of the world.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Eternal Sunshine of a whatever mind!
My bed in Thane is placed against a wall that has a window. (It will make for another post that my room has four walls, one which has the window i mentioned, another that has a door leading to my parents' room, another that has a door leading to the balcony, and the last remaining wall that has a door leading to the kitchen.....ummm go FIGURE that out). You did? Yes i lived in a passage!
So i, felt like i had rebuilt ties with a long lost friend! Discovered the warmth yet again. Like i had never forgotten it. Like i never went away. I woke up, grabbed a hot cup of tea, and we sat together again after very long! The three of us! And then there was my laptop, my cell phone and my book and my ipod...we were one big happy family!!! :D
And SO SO SO "SD" for all those who know me :D
SO, so.....i slept in my 
room last night! And i woke up to a very Unlike Mumbai cold morning! Or cold unlike a Mumbai morning! Or unlikely cold for a Mumbai morning. Ok, now something kept me very warm.....apart from the T, the pullover, the sheets and the quilt! Tell me somebody else did that too? So, something else kept me warm apart from all that. It was the sunshine streaming in through my window! Aaah the sunshine. Daily, 7.30 am to 10.00 am sunshine. My chai time sunshine. Morning companion sunshine. It was there.....hadn't gone anywhere! Like where would it? But still!
room last night! And i woke up to a very Unlike Mumbai cold morning! Or cold unlike a Mumbai morning! Or unlikely cold for a Mumbai morning. Ok, now something kept me very warm.....apart from the T, the pullover, the sheets and the quilt! Tell me somebody else did that too? So, something else kept me warm apart from all that. It was the sunshine streaming in through my window! Aaah the sunshine. Daily, 7.30 am to 10.00 am sunshine. My chai time sunshine. Morning companion sunshine. It was there.....hadn't gone anywhere! Like where would it? But still!So i, felt like i had rebuilt ties with a long lost friend! Discovered the warmth yet again. Like i had never forgotten it. Like i never went away. I woke up, grabbed a hot cup of tea, and we sat together again after very long! The three of us! And then there was my laptop, my cell phone and my book and my ipod...we were one big happy family!!! :D
And SO SO SO "SD" for all those who know me :D
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Jaadon Ki Narm Dhoop!
8.00 am.
On a cold morning, on Aarey road. In a rick. Listening to 100.7 fm. My day was Made. I heard Dil Dhoondta hai from Mausam. Sun rays fell, split and scattered through the branches on the road. I wished some would fall on me. And some did.
My favorite line, "Jaadon ki narm dhoop",
There is someone up there.
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