भय इथले संपत नाही

AMAR, THANK YOU for the song (in bold ofcourse). For reminding me that it I loved it once, many years ago and for mailing it across! We often underestimate the power of a melody :) I had forgotten the effect this one had on me...I re-discovered it today :) And thank you for understanding the intricacies of its words...and helping me enjoy the song MORE, much MORE!

भय इथले संपत नाही
मज तुझी आठवण येते
मी संध्याकाळई गाते

तू माला शिकवलेली गीते

I long for you and fear that my wait may not be ending anytime soon. I remember you in small things...your words, melodies! I sing your songs...as i long for you...and as i fear I will have to wait...long! Really long!

ते झरे चंद्र सजणआनचे
ती धरती भगवी माया
झाडानशी निजलो आपण
झाडात पुन्हा उगवाया

I yearn for you. In my yearning I imagine us in a place that is pure, free of obstacles. Pure and clear as a moonlit night. Pure like your love for me. We shall lie near clear melodious flowing streams which will remind me of your love. Lying on the warm earth, we will be embraced by verdant trees. In that embrace you and I shall fall asleep in much peace, only to open my eyes to find myself still held, still loved, still embraced! I will go through with you till the end, to die here and to be reborn again, like these trees that surround us. That is all i care about. I want to die, because i know i will be reborn here, embraced!

तो बोल मंद हळवासा
आयुष्य स्पर्शुनी गेला
सीतेच्या वनवासातील
जणऊ अंगी राघव शेला


Your words and songs and melodies echo in me. A word can change a life's course and i have so many of yours. My life is full of your words, songs and melodies. Your words have given me light, love and warmth. I remember Seeta, in exile, covering herself with the warmth of Rama's thoughts! I cover myself during cold nights with yours my love!

स्तोत्रात इन्द्रीये अवघी
गुण गुणती दुक्ख कोणाचे
हे सरता संपत नाही
चाँदणे तुझ्या समरणआचे

I yearn for you with all of me, and all i have. My yearning and memories of you, refuse to die like this endless moonlit night.

भय इथले संपत नाही ......

कवी ग्रेस

जड्तो तो जीव
That which clings is the heart
लागते ती आस
What sets in is yearning
बुडतो तो सूर्य
That which sets is the sun.
उरे तो आभास
What is left behind is an illusion

कळए तोच अर्थ
What we grasp is meaning
उरे तोच रंग
What is left is color
ढळ तो तो अश्रू
That which trickles down is the tear
सुटतो तो संग
What slip away are relationships

दाटते ती माया
What surrounds is love
सरे तोच काळ
That which passes is time
ज्याला नाही ठाव
That which is limitless
ते तर आभाळ
Is the sky!

घन नीळआ ड़ोह
पोटी गूढ़ माया

आभाळ माया
आभाळ माया


LOVE is mysterious and limitless like the deep blue sky.



http://marathigani.podbean.com/2008/01/03/abhalmaya/

*Words of a titletrack. Serial "AbhalMaya"...one of the BEST known serials on ZEE Marathi with the most popular title track ever. Year 1998.
Lyrics: MAngesh Kulkarni who says he wrote these words on a bus ticket while traveling because they came him when he had no paper on him.
Singer: Devki Pandit
The English translation does NO justice to the marathi words! But its a lame attempt to make sure the meaning comes across. Hope i havent ruined it!

जमुना

MonSOon FirSTs

Yesterday was first. I started walking from School squinting against the windblown dust. The rain poured without a drizzle. Skipped the drizzle and jumped to the pour. It was sudden. And welcome. I saw no rickshaw and knew it was going to be "my rainy evening" :) I stood where I was. Not the types to look for a shelter to run to. No matter what the stakes! Leather bag! Ipod! Silk kurta! Dainty chappals. Irrespective! So there I was yesterday evening, satisfactorily drenched by the time I found a rick. That one had no leather covers to draw. Perfect! Its nice to not have options to shelter oneself from the rain!!! Rick driver said he was waiting for monsoons to arrive to get those curtains fixed. They have! They have? When does one decide they have "ARRIVED"?

Yesterday was first. Rickshaw broke down on Mulund flyover. I was slightly less exhilirated by then and more cold. Alone. But not the types to be sitting in the rickshaw. Stood on the flyover, looking at the salt pans stretching to my right...or looking at what I KNEW were salt pans. It was difficult to tell. Nothing else worried me but the passing trucks (and yeah of course the lightening! Haven't dealt with my fear of those yet.) I was sure the next one would entirely miss the sight of me standing on that flyover...the next truck, or lightening! Both kill! Paranoid, but still standing.

Yesterday was first. The sight of clothes, meant to be drying, strewn across the balcony, but hopefully not off it! And they were wet. Many such evenings loom, on the horizon, of stubborn wet clothes; waiting, like the black clouds on the horizon, like raging bulls, to advance.Pch. Not liking analogy but think Its apt. Paranoia!

Today was first. First morning of misjudged timings. No sun. No shine. No idea what time. Woke up to an inhibiting day. Today was one morning I could have DONE with some sunshine. 

Today was FIRST alarmed reaction at watching the rain advancing towards home.

Today is First. Post. I am sitting in the tv room, rain drops splattering on the grill and falling on my laptop. But who is the types to shut THIS window, when its the First?...post and monsoon morning of this monsoon?

Remembering first days at school, trains halting on flooded tracks enroute Xavier's,
still Bottled Mottled,
Missing some monsoon people.
could have done with some sunshine,
clutching to comfort zone,
unsure of liking monsoons as of today morning,
worried about next 3 months already,
realizing summers are gone!
Wanting to speed up today and jump to tommorow,
Wishing only and only for Bandstand...

J
Listening to: Chhotisi Kahani se, Baarishon ke paani se
Mood: Warming up to cold monsoon morning...or so i think!